How to Cue Without Accidentally Challenging Everyone’s Self-Worth
We all have a group fitness trigger. This one’s mine:
“For advanced people…”
“If you want to level up…”
“If it’s in your practice…”
(ok, that last one’s not the worst, but still)
Here’s the thing: we know our language as teachers matters, even on a subconscious level.
If you’re having a bad day and every cue is giving eulogy – “drop down, settle down, slow downnn” – people will for sure pick up on your gloom, hun.
So the question is: if we’re not trying to create a competitive environment, why are we cueing like class is a scoreboard?
For me, the moment I hear ‘experienced clients can do this’, my brain short-circuits.
I’m experienced. I can do this.
And just like that, my focus shifts outward, intuition off, ego on, and I’m attempting a headstand that definitely shouldn’t have been on the agenda.
“Ego cues” as I call them might sound encouraging, but they’re basically a green light for the overachiever to push past their edge.
But isn’t that the point — to push people?
There’s a difference between challenging someone’s body and challenging their ego.
To me, ego-cueing is a bit of a short-cut. Your students will leave a great Class Pass review about how “they’ve never been so sore,” then spend Monday Googling “yoga neck pain.” You’ll push them, sure, but probably right past awareness and into the danger zone, where advanced handstands start calling their name and the ego takes the mic. Suddenly, it’s not about connection anymore; it’s about competition. Everyone’s performing strength instead of feeling it.
Holding space for real, authentic strength is about inviting, not imposing. It’s when you remind people of what they’re capable of, without turning it into a performance review. You cue like, “If it feels good, try this,” not “Prove you can hang.” You give people options, not ultimatums.
If “for advanced people” makes your skin crawl now, same…
Here’s are some phrases I use to cue advanced options instead (with the same grounded energy I’d use for a “take it down” moment). No hierarchy, no heroics, just options:
“For a different experience…”
“For a change in sensation…”
“If you’d like to explore a variation…”
“For a new perspective in the pose…”
“If you’re ready to explore this shape differently…”
“If you’re curious about how this feels with a small shift…”
“You might notice your body wants to…”
“Stay curious about where your edge is today”
I could go on, but you get it. These kinds of cues don’t rank movement or reward effort. Even something as simple as “to explore a deeper sensation” can send the overachievers among us into a quiet frenzy. So instead of cueing like there’s a “right” direction to go, cue like there are equal options, because there are!
Bottom line: just because you know Sally can do Side Crow doesn’t mean you need to encourage her to bust it out every day of the week to impress her yoga squad. If you’re cueing people to tune into their bodies, Sally’s probably gonna sit this one out in malasana — her kids are driving her crazy, work’s a mess, and honestly, stillness feels way harder than balance today.
So, instructor friends, let’s stop cueing like it’s a competition and start cueing like everyone already belongs.
And if you’re a student reading this, notice how it feels: the difference between being pushed and being invited.
